Despicable Vader
by Goblin Girl's Cast Members
Summary: What happens when Sidious tells Vader to adopt a kid? He ends up with force sensitive twins Luke and Leia. And Vader ends up getting help. Based on Despicable Me.


**Hi guys!-G.G.**

**G.G., what are you doing?-Vader**

**I got the idea for this story from _Despicable Me _and here's the first chapter!-G.G.**

**Aren't you going to do the disclaimer?-G.K.**

**How did you get here?! This is a _Star Wars _fanfic!-G.G.**

**Are you going to do the disclaimer?-G.K**

**... (sighs) I don't own Star Wars, Vader, or anything.-G.G.**

**Now...-G.K.**

**Enjoy the first chapter!-G.G., G.K., & Vader**

* * *

"_There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."_

_-Oscar Levant  
_

* * *

"…What?!" Darth Vader heard himself exclaim to the Emperor.

"I want you to adopt a child." the Emperor repeated.

Vader had heard him, but something about that sentence didn't sound like it came from the Emperor. In fact, it was quite possible someone took the real Emperor and replaced him with this phony. If it weren't for the fact that the Force was telling him it was the real Emperor on the throne, he would most likely Force-choke the Emperor and demand who he really was.

Then again, it wouldn't be half bad if he did that. It was almost tempting.

But, a kid? Had the Emperor lost his mind (probably had)?! A Sith was many things, but a father figure or care-taker was _**NOT**_ one of them!

"But—why?!" Vader asked, almost stuttering (he had never stuttered since he became Darth Vader).

"The public thinks you're a heartless, fighting machine." the Emperor started to explain.

_Wasn't that the goal? _ Vader thought.

"And if the Rebels think you've turned soft, they'll let their guard down and start to come out of hiding." the Emperor said. Then his mouth gave way to a creepy, evil smile. "And that's when we strike."

Vader pondered about this for a minute. It sounded crazy enough to work.

But, out all the things in this galaxy to bring the Rebellion down, why did it have to be kids?

* * *

"Engines?"

"Check."

"Hyperdrive?"

"Check."

"Then…. Blast Off!"

Four year olds Luke, Han, Lando, Ben, and Chewie rocked their make shift space ship, the _Millenium Falcon_, side to side while they made space ship noises in the process.

"Look out!" Ben cried out. "There's a Star Destroyer after us!"

Han 'glanced' at the 'scanners' and glared at the 'ship'.

"They won't get us!" Han declared. "This ship is the fastest ship in the galaxy!"

"They're firing!" Lando cried.

Luke immediately started to dodge the shots the fired at them.

Chewie growled.

"What was that, buddy?" Han asked.

Chewie repeated the growl.

"What?!" Han exclaimed. "They're launching TIE Fighters?!"

Ben began to 'panic'. "What do we do?!"

"We go into Lightspeed." Han calmly said.

"B-but Captain!" Luke stuttered. "The Hyperdrive is down!"

Han sent him a glare. "Then go back and fix it!"

"There's no time!" Luke cried. "They'll take us prisoner!"

"We are not going down without a fight!" declared Han.

"Hey Skywalker!"

The five friends found themselves abruptly yanked out of their Star Destroyer chases and TIE Fighter races, back into the world of the nursery of Tatooine's Orphanage, and in their cardboard box.

"What?" an irritated Luke asked Guri (the girl who yanked them out of their world).

"Your sister is fighting again." Guri said as she pointed to a gathered group on the other side of the room. Luke could hear some of them shouting "catfight".

Without hesitating, Luke hopped out of the box and dashed to the group with his friends following close behind him.

* * *

Luke pushed his way to the center of the crowd. He got there in time to see his twin sister, Leia, pull on some girl's blonde locks.

Luke immediately rushed over to Leia and started to pull her off of the poor girl. Han made his way to the center and started to pull the blonde away from Luke and Leia.

"That dress was not goofy looking!" Leia shouted at she struggled against Luke.

"It so was!" the blonde shouted back.

Were this a cartoon, Luke and Han would have probably sweatdropped. All this was about a dress?

"And it was one of the ugliest dresses ever!" the blonde added.

Leia made an inhuman jump over Luke and Han and tackled the blonde.

Luke and Han stood back and watched as the two girls fought. Whenever the blonde made an attack on Leia, Leia seemed to always dodge it.

The door snapped open, faster than 'lightning' (Luke had only heard of it). The children whirled around to see Mon Mothma storm into the room.

"What is going on here?!"

* * *

Luke waited until the cleaning droid left the room before climbing out of bed.

Silently, he began to shoes on when Han groggily sat up in his bed.

"Are you going through with your plan?" Han asked, still a little sleepy.

Luke nodded as he began to gather his things.

"Why?" Ben asked, sitting up in his own bed.

Chewie sat up, silently staring at Luke.

Luke hesitated for a moment before answering, "'cause me and Leia want to get off this dust ball of a planet."

Han rolled his eyes. "And you want to find your parents, right?"

Luke nodded.

Han sighed. "Your parents are dead, okay? You wouldn't be here if they weren't."

Han yanked his covers and turned away from Luke.

Luke took a deep breath. "They're alive, Han. I can't explain why, but I know they're out there somewhere."

Han didn't say anything.

Chewie growled a question.

Luke smiled. "I'm sure it's not my tummy, Chewie."

Luke could sense his friends' sadness. That was one of the many funny things about him and Leia. They could sense what other people were feeling. Luke was better at it than Leia, but they always knew exactly what the other was feeling. Neither of them could explain how and why though.

And right now, Luke could feel Leia's distress and anger. Not really a good thing.

"Well," Luke took another deep breath. "see ya guys."

Luke waved to his friends before walking away.

"Bye Luke." Ben whispered as Chewie growled a farewell.

"Luke?"

Luke turned around to see Han sit back up.

"Good luck." Han whispered.

Luke nodded before leaving the room, taking the first step away from his old life and into a new life a new life. Even if it did have enough twists and turns to bring him back where he started.

* * *

"Leia? Leia?!"

Leia looked up in irritation as Luke continued to shake her 'awake'. Apparently, her sleeping act fooled even her brother.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Leia said as she turned to face her brother.

Luke shushed her.

Leia glanced at his bag and immediately knew what was going on.

Quietly but quickly, Leia got out of bed and started to pack her things. Mostly clothes and what little money she had.

Luke winced. "I _**knew **_I forgot something."

Leia rolled her eyes. Her brother could be forgetful at times.

"Too late now." she sighed.

Quickly, the twins fled the room and the orphanage. Little did they know, little eyes watched them as they vanished into the night.

* * *

**(looks at the quote) (sweatdrops) I forgot why I used the quote.-G.G.**

**(force-chokes G.G.)-Vader**

**(gasps) I know I got the character ages messed up! But give me a break! This is an _ALTERNETE UNIVERISE _after all!-G.G.**

**(releases her)-Vader**

**(gasps) And Ben is not mine. He belongs to the ever awesome _Force Bond_ series.-G.G.**

**(whines) What's going to happen next?!-G.K.**

**(smirks) Wait and see. (to the reviewers) Feel free to review! And thank Maddie-Bear for helping with the title!-G.G.**


End file.
